Friendships: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.

Elena, Bonnie and Caroline - The Vampire Diaries

I was eight years old when I lost my first best friend. It wasn't because of a fight or an argument, but she moved away. She was the first person - the only person really - who made me come out of my shell, although it was to the point of getting in trouble with the school principal by pulling up my dress to a group of boys, anyway! When she moved away, it was hard, but because I was eight and found it easily to make new friends, I moved on, but it was hard at first. The second time I lost a good friend was when I was eleven. We had a huge argument and even to this day we still haven't talked. To be honest, I don't even remember what the fight was about, but it screwed our friendship up to the point where we will honestly never be friends again. Ever.

Losing a friend or stopping a friendship is one of the hardest things you can ever do. No matter what age. But sometimes ridding your life of a certain friend can be a good thing. Though, how can it be a good thing you may ask? Well, when I was fourteen, my supposed 'friend' began bullying me to the point where school became the one place I avoided like the plague. I hated it, even though once upon a time, I loved it (yes, I am the geek who loves school :P). She verbally bullied me, and later on, a number of my other friends began turning their backs on me, siding with her. I didn't want people to 'side with me', I didn't want there to be sides at all. But that 'friendship' began hurting me, over and over again. Though, to this day, a small part of me is thankful for her turning into this - to put bluntly - bitch. I would never have the strength and independence I have today. And it also showed me who my true friends were.



Cristina and Meredith - Grey's Anatomy



At fourteen, I was obsessed with Grey's Anatomy, and envied the friendship that Meredith and Cristina had. It hurt knowing that my 'friends' treated me like a piece of crap, while these two young women treated each other with respect and love. I wanted a friendship just like theirs. I wanted the loyalty and the respect, I wanted to have somebody that I could talk to about my problems without being judged.

A year later, when I was fifteen, I became good friends with three other girls. I'd known one since I was four and the other two since the seventh grade. But our good, strong friendship didn't really begin till we were fifteen. Now, at seventeen, I depend on these three girls. I trust them, I tell them my problems and stories, and I know that they won't judge me. I finally have that Meredith/Cristina friendship I dreamt about for a year. I no longer had to hide who I truly was at school, I had people who loved me for who I was.

But, this blog post isn't all about my ups and downs on the friendship road, but to tell you some useful things about true friendships. I hate seeing young girls go through the same thing I went through at fourteen, the toxic friendship that almost ruined my academic career and social life. No one should feel as if their school is the worst place in the world. Nobody.



Clark and Chloe - Smallville



It's a tough decision if whether or not you want to cut a friend out of your life. But sometimes, the best thing to do, is let a toxic friend go. If you are part of a toxic friendship you may feel depressed, stressed and extremely down on yourself. When I was fourteen and being bullied constantly by somebody I thought I could trust, I began to believe everything that she was saying. That I was stupid, that I was worthless, that I was ugly. I felt completely lost. But sometimes the signs aren't always that easy, other things may cause you to take an extra look at your friendship.

• Do they return your phone calls, messages, etc?
• Cancel plans?
• Only talked to you/call you when they want something?

Manny and Emma - Degrassi: The Next Generation

I guess we are all looking for that perfect friendship, that somebody, or group, that makes us feel great about ourselves. We want a friendship like Elena/Bonnie/Caroline, Meredith/Cristina, Clark/Chloe and Emma/Manny. We want a friend we can completely count on, and trust me, they are out there. Sometimes it takes a while to find them. I was fifteen when I found my best friends. I went through hard times, lost a couple of good friends and almost felt like giving up on the idea. But good friends - best friends - are out there somewhere. You just have to believe, and have a little faith. The best memories that I have are with my best friends, the shopping trips, the movies, school projects, stupid jokes, stupid nicknames, stupid adventures we had, pictures, birthday dinners and the time one of them had their finger stuck in a bowling ball.

A true friend is someone that you can trust, depend on, have fun with, be yourself around, love, care for, hang out with and be truthful to. You want a friendship where you feel like sisters, brothers, family, not a friendship that leaves you feeling like a piece of dirt. That is not a friendship, and you should never ever accept one that makes you feel like crap. Again, that is not - and ever will be - a friendship. Do yourself a favour and move on, make new friends. Now, I leave you a funny, wonderful, friendship quote: "Friendship is like wetting your pants: everyone can see it, but only you feel the true warmth."

Have you ever been in a toxic friendship? Have you ever lost a best friend? Do you have a good group of people that you trust and respect? ♥.